“You are my Daughter”

On Tuesday, I hit the lowest of my blue day segments. God knows I prayed as my head hit the pillow, and later as I knelt in my closet after I pushed to get out of bed. Monday, had been good after many gloomy days, so why did I feel this heaviness again. I didn’t want it, but couldn’t shake it off no matter how much I pleaded with God.

I ran errands with my oldest daughter then came home to start dinner. Maybe it’s time to get back on antidepressants.  Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as I contemplated pros and cons to continue living. I went into a very dark place in mind and was interrupted by my phone ringing. Mom’s face sprang across the screen.

I debated if to answer partly because I was in no mood of talking but also because most of the time she rings, she meant to call someone else, or she sat on her phone and didn’t realize she dialed me. I answered just in case it was an emergency.

“Hello?” No answer.  Then I heard my dad praying in the background. Despite my sadness I smiled. She had accidentally dialed me during a prayer meeting.

I was about to hang up when she said “Are you there Jessica?”

“Uh yeah.” I walked back to the stove confused at why she would call during prayer.

“I’m going to pass you Damaris.”

“Who’s Damaris?” I stirred my pan baffled by the situation.

“You don’t know her and she doesn’t know you. (My parents are in Mexico BTW and I don’know half of the people they interact with.) We came to pray for her because she wasn’t feeling well, but ever since we got here she hasn’t stop saying your name.”

“What?” She has my full attention.

“She keeps on saying, “My daughter Jessica, oh my beloved Jessica. I love you. She doesn’t have a daughter Jessica, I think this message is for you. I’m going to put the phone next to her.”

My mom wasn’t even done talking when I let out a wrteched cry as I turned off the stove and heard the following.

“Oh, my beloved Jessica, I love you. You are mine. Ever since I formed you in your mother’s womb you are mine. Oh, my beloved Jessica.”

Can this truly be God?

“I am! You are my daughter and I am your God. Oh, my beloved Jessica.”

I was on my face sobbing.

Who am I that the Lord will speak to me like this?

“You are my daughter. And your daughters are mine. Praise me! There is strength when you praise me. Get up from there and go yell at the four winds that I am your God and you my daughter. Take out the banner of victory and don’t be afraid because I am with you, oh my beloved Jessica. Don’t listen to the negativity and return to your first love. Oh, my beloved Jessica.”

I am unworthy of this experience. To have Him reveal himself in my darkest moment when not even my mother knew I was battling depression a country away from her, contemplating the value of life. God is not bound by distance, and there is no limit to His power. He is worthy of all the praise and is the same yesterday and today. He sees when we are hurting and hold us when we can’t go on. After many days of asking Him and not feeling a response, I was barely holding on to the thread of hope. But He heard me and rescued me. He will rescue you also no matter your need. Hold on! And praise Him!

This is me shouting to the four winds. He is my God and I am His daughter!!! I will make it for He is with me. The victory is mine. Thank you Jesus! I love you, my God and my beloved Savior!!

13 thoughts on ““You are my Daughter”

  1. Wow, if that doesn’t bring tears to your eyes, nothing will. God knows when we are hitting rock bottom and He does not leave us there. Beautiful, just beautiful. May God’s grace, peace and blessings be poured upon you and yours Jessy and thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you Bruce. His mercy endureth forever and he sees us even when don’t see Him. He meets us individually and knows us by name. My God is so big and wow. I’m Amazed by his greatness. Amen.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is such a beautiful reminder of how each of us is valuable to Him! I am so glad He cared enough to send you a message of His love through someone across the world. Thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a profound encounter. The power of prayer is humbling. I am so encouraged by this encounter. Please consider seeing your doctor. It may be passing, but with help, your suffering can be eased. Praying for you, Jessy!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Its been a journey of digging deeper into His word and pulling all the weed in my soul keeping me from being planted in His holy soil. For a while I was in a daze. The peace His restoration has given me is beyond all understanding ❤️

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.